I miss my family. Not the family I was born into. But the family I never had.

Many people have no backup, are falling.

But how, after millennia of Gods, do we want to live without them now?

We can plug into a capitalistic society

The origin of love is fundamentally hardship. A hardship of one’s own life that looks to another one.

It is not about the union with another person. It is about looking away. We feel the strongest love with people who make this looking away possible.

There is no person I can talk to. There is no person who is there. I am completely without connection, without a net.

And then I call Esther, and she always answers – thank God or not – and with her I have at least some resemblance of family. Of familiarity, of being heard.

But then she keeps me on distance and it just kills me. What kind of relationship is that? It’s ultimately very alienating and takes all hope away from me.