My life has circled around the same problem for years. It is work.
Everyone has the problem with work and their place in the world.
My body currently doesn’t believe that I will make. Or doesn't see the steps.
I want to cry.
Judgments about others are always inadequate and require a suitcase full of footnotes and annotations.
You are more precise with yourself.
Confidence is a certain unawareness of others.
When you really want something, quality doesn’t matter.
You take every breath of a loved one.
You take every scrap of past writing.
Life ends not until the heart stops beating.
My cultural immune system is screaming.
Why can you speak only certain worlds with some people only.
They have to speak with you.
A world is always spoken together.
Speaking consists of what is said, but also of listening and how listening preforms sentences and words.
When I hear someone speak, they listen to me with their words.
I am scared to read my notes.
I am too depressed in them.
Speaking is a collective process
Drafting is a collective process
Showing is
My undulating life
My life in undulations
The world consists of people. Even more precisely: out of what people do.
Dad ultimately questioned everything I do.
With regards to women
there is no free lunch
The love we have and everything we carry through our lives is the love we have experienced from our parents.
I never rejected someone because they loved me too much or too openly.
I always tried
Deep searches always lead you to paradise.
The more specific the search is, the better the results.
There are counter arguments for everything.
One year of carnage.
More important than how to say something is to say it publicly.
Why is the external always bigger and easier than your own life?
My people poverty was also a lack of perspective or of a path.
I will never chase anyone ever again.
I can understand why people do that. The feeling of being truly in love and connected to a person is not that common. It quickly crumbles in closeness.
Missing Esther bitterly.
Nothing, no progress, can hide it.
Toxic masculinity: transgression
Toxic feminity: running away, not doing anything
Distant people are distant with themselves, but also with others. In their asking, in their showing, in simply everything.
Flesh comes through writing.
You can honor yourself but not love yourself. Love is something that establishes a connection to other people.
You cannot say: Oh, there’s a wolf threatening me right now. What a great challenge to grow from.
No. You are dead scared. And that’s it.
